Love Daddy...

Owen James

IT’S A BOY!!!! Jill and I sat on the love seat at our home with our two dogs looking at us like we were the crazy ones. We had gone back and forth with the decision to know or not to know the sex of our first born. We decided the only way we wanted to know is if our doctor’s assistant, Julie, would print out a sonogram picture and write “boy” or “girl” on it. As we sat on our couch that cold winter afternoon we opened our special envelop in front of our video camera only to shake the foundation with screams of “it’s a boy!” What more could we ask for, we were having a little man as our first born.
Monday started off fairly normal considering the previous 9 months had taught me something new each day. Jill and I had done everything we could in order to prepare for our little addition including but not limited to: birthing classes, creating a welcoming nursery complete with a monkey on the wall and a brand new crib and stocking up on diapers. Little did I know that Monday, May 25, 2010 would bring a 7lb 7oz baby boy that would, in just one year’s time, cause me to strive to be a better man, husband and father.
Jill and I headed off to our normal doctor’s appointment on Monday afternoon. On a side note, Jill had been having some preliminary contractions for a few days so big daddy was on high alert – let’s just say jumpy. We had been up and down with emotions over the past few months; there were times when concerns brought us right into a sonogram room where the doc would monitor our child’s heart beat only to find reason to watch Jill closely as her due date grew near. Sometimes it would take the doctor several minutes in order to find a regular heart beat which sent us to the moon and back with fear, sadness, nervousness and then joy when he would finally find it. This particular day we felt it necessary to have one of these “heart beat finding” appointments because Jill was just not feeling herself. Once the doctor identified the heartbeat he asked the golden question “are you ready?” Were we? Was I? Maybe for the first time, I realized that being a dad, a cool dad, was within reach. As we looked at each other, I believe we muttered, “Okay, yes we are”. Walking from the doc’s office over to the hospital where they were waiting to admit my wife was surreal. I tried to text and call everyone I possibly could to spread the joy I was feeling – I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!
Our bags had been packed for months, that is one thing I took away from our birthing classes, well that and “hee hee whooooo, hee hee whoooo”, I will never forget that. We were admitted and we checked into the “suite” of delivery rooms with lots of what seemed to be “useless space” at this point. Laurie showed up and welcomed us to the maternity ward as she stuck a needle up Jill’s vein. After Jill woke up from passing out, just kidding, she does HATE needles, even after 9 months of being a pin cushion from shot after shot. Right away Jill and I could tell we had a great nurse with Laurie. Laurie knew she had two very excited yet very naive parents-to-be on her hands and she handled it beautifully. Jill changed into her gown and then Laurie wired her up, getting ready to start the meds when our nurse brought in the pitocin. I thought… Great, Jill is going to be on a pitocin drip and we will have this baby out lickity split. WRONG! For those that do not know me, I am extremely observant and love to learn by asking questions – naturally, missing anything in this baby birthing process would absolutely rain on my parade. At about this point I decided now is as good of a time as any to start making this “suite” of a delivery room our new temporary home – so I went out to the car and started to unload the car. As the pack mule that I was started to make his way back up the room, I learned that while I was gone the DOCTOR broke Jill’s water. The moment I had been thinking about for 9 months, the moment that meant “let’s get things rolling”, and the moment that set all other moments apart had passed by while I was waddling back from the parking garage, UGH. Of course I needed to get the details from Jill which quickly made me realize this was only the beginning of “wow” moments. As the afternoon drew to an end and the evening started, the reality of not having our baby, not even close to having our baby, set in. Jill was getting more and more uncomfortable and had made it through two additional nursing shifts when the anesthesiologist came in to save the day! Once the epidural was in Jill and I started to wind down and get sleepy. Jill started to get comfortable; the nurses were so accommodating bringing warm sheets from the dryer and helping turn her every hour as I snuggled in to the chair next to her. All of the way through the night the nurses would come in every half hour and flip Jill to keep her circulation up. As the morning started to dance in the fact that we did not have our baby yet did not make it an exciting dance, not yet. Jill was dilating slowly, just like she had all night long and we were waiting so patiently. I remember looking at the clock and seeing six ‘o clock (am) and thinking “come on already!” Three hours later Jill was fully dilated, the original nurse, Laurie, was back and ready for her day shift and they were calling for our doctor – it was time! Laurie said “Jill honey, do not push at all, please wait for the doctor” You probably could have seen the fear on both of our faces; we were going to be parents. As the doctor wheeled in, what at one point felt like a “suite” of a delivery room now felt incredibly crowded and as small as a dorm room! The doc said “Jill – PUSH” and Jill started to push, or so she thought, for several minutes before the doctor called a time out. I stood there with one of Jill’s feet in my hand, front row view of my son’s mop (my son was born with quite a bit of hair) and the doctor calls a time out – really doc? Now is not the time to build lasting relationships and put your order in for breakfast we need to get this baby out! Little did I know, the doc was planning one of the most motivational speeches I have ever heard. Five seconds into our time out, the doctor said “Jill, I asked you to push and you’re not pushing, if you do not want me to cut you than PUSH!” After those words, I even pushed and started a little chant to encourage my wife to get this baby out. After fifteen minutes of pushing I saw Owen for the very first time. The doctor handed me the scissors and I cut him loose of his umbilical cord and put him on Jill’s chest. I cried – I cried hard. I knew that nothing would be as I had known it for 25 years but that this little bundle was going to change his mom and dad’s life forever. I proudly took my newborn son over to have his first bath and I washed his hair underneath the sink when he was only minutes old. I combed his hair for the first time and looked into his little face as I said “I love you” to the smallest person I had ever held.
Bringing Owen home, outside of the drive home itself (I drove 30mph the whole way), felt like we were driving up to the starting line where life was about to take off – fast. Since the day Owen was born, our lives have not slowed down – not at all. His first day at day care was not easy for me but it was almost impossible for Jill. We both knew that the necessary evil of having to go back to work (I had started a new job/career only one week after Owen’s birth and Jill was still at SF) was going to feel so unnatural. All we wanted to do was be with our baby, handing him off to someone else during the day just did not seem as easy as we once thought it would be. The first day of day care came and went, the first walk in the stroller was followed by many more, the first laugh was so innocent, the first hair cut was so precious (even though it was not a full cut, just a trim), the first roll-over was so exciting, the first bite of ice cream in daddy’s arms when mommy wasn’t looking was a highlight, the first time he crawled made us scream, the first time he muttered “mama” or “dada” melted our hearts all over again – and here we are, one year later. As a year full of “firsts”, it’s only appropriate we end it with a first. On Owen’s first birthday I reflect on how much a 7lb 7oz baby can change your life. If you don’t believe me, you have not met my son. Just a few weeks ago when Owen went to bed, Jill and I sat down and looked through our baby’s first year pictures. As we sat there we were both quickly taken back to the moment where this story started and the phrase “Enjoy it, time will fly by” came to mind, we both realized we are raising God’s greatest gift to us.

Owen,
One year ago today my life was changed by your life coming into this world. You have taught and are still teaching me how to be a father. Thank you for your patience with me! You charge me to be a better husband for your mother, a better father for you, a better provider, a better protector and a better leader for our family. When I look into your innocent eyes I quickly realize that you are watching everything I do and I have to be honest, that scares me! Please forgive me for the mistakes I have made and the mistakes I will make as your dad. My prayer is that you will grow to be a God fearing man who loves his family and stands for the things that he believes in. I promise I will always stand by your side, support and love you no matter what life brings. As you are learning to walk, please look to me to catch you when you fall and hold you up when you are too tired as I will always be there. I will do my best to always point you towards God as we walk through life together.
I love you forever,
Your Dad